Symbiosis
by King in Yellow
Summary: a relationship to the mutual benefit of the species in it, as contrasted with a parasitic relationship with benefits only going to one. Set after Who Do You Trust? Nick and Judy receive a request for help from an unusual source, Duke Weaselton. Our heroes wrestle with the theoretical and practical ethics of the request and then ride to the rescue... Well, maybe not so much a rescue
1. You Can't Cheat an Honest Man

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the movie Zootopia are all owned by Disney, the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

This is set after **Who Do You Trust?** and reflects that story. Nick and Judy pressured Duke into the role of reluctant informer.

Now expanded to two chapters. The real Midnight is a 1939 screwball comedy (with some of the earliest work by Billy Wilder after fleeing from Hitler to the US.) Nick and Judy watched it in chapter 9 of Trust. _You Can't Cheat an Honest Man_ was a W.C. Fields film, also from 1939.

 **You Can't Cheat an Honest Man  
**

‟There's a weasel waiting to talk with you," Clawhauser warned Nick as the fox ran in at his customary last minute for the start of his shift.

‟A weasel?"

‟I think he's that one who testified in the night howler case. He wants to talk with you and Judy."

‟ _This should be interesting,"_ Nick thought as he headed for the detective bullpen, hoping against hope that Judy was late. He knew it was a vain hope. Judy was never late. And she wasn't this morning.

Judy sat, silently fuming at her desk, and Duke Weaselton sat at Nick's desk, grinning broadly.

Nick pulled another chair near the desk and pointed at Duke, then to the chair, ‟Your chair. That one's mine. Now, citizen, how can the police force help an outstanding weasel like yourself on this fine morning?"

The weasel moved to the chair Nick offered and the fox took his seat at the desk.

‟As a law-abidin' citizen it is–"

Judy snorted.

‟You should do something about that cold," Nick told her.

‟Sorry," she lied. ‟I must be allergic to something I heard."

‟Now then," continued Nick, turning to Duke, ‟I just asked how we can help you?"

‟Yeah, well, there is this porcupine sellin' bootleg DVDs down on Maple. As an honest citizen an' all, I feels it is my dooty to report it to the police."

‟Thank you, citizen, for your vigilance. My partner and I will investigate your tip later this morning or this afternoon."

After the weasel slunk away Judy protested, ‟We are not going after that porcupine!"

‟You're not afraid of porcupines, are you?"

‟Of course not!"

‟So, what's your problem?"

‟We do not work for Duke Weaselton, we work for the police department."

‟And what is the goal of the police?"

‟To help the citizens of Zootopia."

‟Duke is a citizen."

‟You know it's not the crime that bothers him; the porcupine is competition. He wants us to take out his competition!"

‟Of course."

‟And you're okay with that?"

‟Define okay. If you look at it only as helping a small timer eliminate competition then I'm not okay with it. But it isn't any small timer, we're dealing with Duke Weaselton, one of the slimiest small timers in Zootopia, and that is precisely why we should help him."

‟You're confusing me, more than usual."

‟We owe Duke. We may not like him, but we owe him. He's given us some valuable tips, and he had the information because he is not a nice animal. Kindly old grandmothers who feed pigeons or well-scrubbed little ranger scouts can't give us tips. Duke being here was a challenge. I think he's demanding some respect from us. Maybe if we scare off the competition he'll give us more help in the future. Therefore we help him."

‟I still don't like it."

‟Not asking you to like it. I don't like it either. But if it saves lives or stops major crimes then it's worth it."

‟Fine, but you're asking Alces if we can go out on this."

* * *

‟Bootleg DVDs? You have nothing better to do than..." the captain objected when the detectives made the request. ‟The weasel that was up here... Duke Weaselton?"

Nick nodded, ‟He has, on occasion, provided valuable consultative services to the ZPD."

‟Valuable consultative services, huh? That's a lot nicer than what we used to call it."

‟And Judy and I figure that–"

Judy coughed to show she was not a part of the argument.

‟Okay," Nick admitted, "I figure that you get more flies with sugar than vinegar."

The moose rolled his eyes and sighed, ‟Okay, just make sure your weasel knows there's a limit on sugar."

* * *

Judy drove, and Nick watched for the porcupine. ‟Block ahead, on the left. Find a place to…"

‟What?"

‟Park. That idiot Duke is out peddling his bootlegs too."

‟We can't give the porcupine a warning if we don't–"

‟Exactly. I can't believe even Duke is that stupid. You tell the porcupine to close up shop and don't come back. I'll take Duke."

Duke smiled cheerfully as Nick approached, but the fox had no words of cheer. ‟Moron! If we tell the porcupine to get out of the First, and leave you selling it either looks like we're on the take, or you're working for the police, or both. You really want that?"

‟But–"

‟But nothing. You wanted to stand here all smug while we told porky to move on. Do you understand why that's a bad idea or do I need to explain it again, slowly?"

‟Ya does not need to call me a moron."

‟Then don't act like one. We'll cruise through a couple times a day until porky gets discouraged. Why don't you flex your entrepreneurial muscles on something else for the duration?"

‟Huh?"

‟Go back to peddling watches or something else 'til the porcupine moves on."

The weasel shrugged, ‟Yeah, makes sense."

Duke started packing up DVDs when Nick exclaimed, ‟Midnight!"

‟Huh?"

‟Old movie."

‟Never hoid of it. What is it, five? six years old?"

‟More like eighty"

"Did they watch movies by candles or somethin'?"

"Never mind. It's old but was recently restored–"

"They added color?"

"No, Moron. No one who appreciates fine black and white films wants them colorized."

"I knew that, Schmuck, I was testin' you. Restored..."

"They found a nice print and digitally enhanced it back to theater quality. Now, it is not commercially available. However, I know this weasel, who knows someone, who knows someone."

"Youse ain't asking for my resources, are ya?"

"Nah. I don't care where... Heck, I don't want to know. I'm just wondering if you, with all your contacts, might be able to lay your paws on a copy?"

The weasel's eyes narrowed. "I might. It will cost ya. Cost ya a century."

"A hundred creds?" Nick asked in disbelief and gestured at the cases the weasel was packing up. "You only charge fifteen or twenty credits for this junk."

"Ah, exactly. This stuff is junk. But youse ain't askin' for junk. Even a Schmuck knows if youse wants fine quality youse gotta pay for it. 'Specially if youse askin' for somethin' which ain't even commercially available."

"Twenty-five credits!"

"You wound me. Outta respect for the officers in blue I can offer youse a special discount. Ninety creds."

"Forty."

‟Won't even pay for my expenses in gettin' a special order. I'll cut my profit to the bone an' let youse have it for eighty."

Nick thought a minute, "Fifty."

"No reason able offer is refused, but youse is not yet able to reason. Seventy."

"Sixty, and that's my final offer."

The weasel appeared to ponder the offer. "Only because youse is my acquaintance, I will accept." _"Sucker, youse coulda had it for forty-five."_

"Fine." _"Ha, I'd have given seventy-five."_ "It has to be the real thing, The restored version."

"Duke Weaselton never goes back on his woid. Now, about delivery..."

"I'd rather you didn't bring it to the police station."

"Good, 'cause I do not like visitin' that dump. If, that is if, I can lay me mits on a copy I'll leave youse a message, 'Da chicken is in da coop'."

Nick nodded, "The chicken is in the coop."

"No, _Da_ chicken is in _da_ coop."

"Fine," the fox muttered, "just spell it out for the desk sergeant. You do know how to spell, right?"

"Hardy-har-har. Now, I do not know if I can get... What was the name again?"

"Midnight."

"If I can get it, I will call the Foist. Next day, Francelli's, four in the afternoon. Place is empty so we ain't seen talkin' together."

"Sounds good."

"How about ya see your way to a twenty cred advance?"

‟After saying you're not sure you can get it? No way!"

"Fine," the weasel muttered. "But bring cash. I am allergic to credit cards."

"And the electronic evidence they leave behind?"

"Somethin' like that. An' youse is payin' for cannoli. Call it a service charge."

"You're paying for coffee…" Nick remembered, "Oh, one final point. Don't mention anything to the rabbit... She, uh, might not understand."

The weasel gave him a sly wink, ‟Us guys gotta stick togetter, right?"

‟Exactly." _‟It's a gift for her and I don't want to spoil the surprise."_


	2. Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the movie Zootopia are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

There are no plans to add a third chapter to this. _Never Give a Sucker an Even Break_ is another film by W. C. Fields. Although there are no plans for a third chapter there is a Fields' film which would lend itself naturally, _It's a Gift_. As I type this up I'm pretty sure there would be no way for me to use either _The Bank Dick_ or _My Little Chickadee_.

 **Never Give a Sucker an Even Break**

The weasel noticed a suspicious individual sidling towards him. The black stocking cap was pulled down to hide the figure's ears, and a bulky, too warm for the day, coat hid the individual's shape. Duke tensed slightly, and did not relax when the individual drew close enough for clear identification. "Officer Hopps?"

" _Detective_ Hopps– I'm not her."

"Youse not?"

"No, I... My name is Trudy."

The weasel cocked his head to his to one side and stared skeptically, "Youse know, Officer Hopps, this sounds auspiciously like ensnarement."

"Entrapment. This is not entrapment. And I told you, I'm not her. I'm Trudy."

"Trudy, yeah. So, what can I do for youse, Trudy? A fine designer handbag?" He gestured at the counterfeit Chanel and Louis Vuitton bags displayed on a blanket laid out on the sidewalk.

"You're selling handbags now?"

"Why do youse sound surprised, 'Trudy', since we has never met an' all?"

"I, uh, heard I might be able to buy an illegal DVD from you."

"Bootleg DVDs?" he asked in mock surprise, "I is deeply shocked, shocked an' distressed that anyone could immune on my honesty by suggesting I'd sell bootleg DVDs. And besides, as Officer Hopps would know, if youse was she, the ZPD is currently crackin' down on the DVD racket."

Judy wasn't certain if he meant impinge or impugn on his honesty, but since, in her opinion, he had no honesty to question it didn't matter. "Uh, look, I'm wanting something kind of special. It's for Nick, it's– Nevermind. I was just asking about finding a copy."

"So, 'Trudy', youse looking to buy a gift for Detective Wilde?"

"How come he's Detective Wilde and I'm just Officer Hopps?"

"I thought you was 'Trudy'?"

"Knock it off Duke. Why in the heck are you pushing fake handbags? I saw you more as a Three Card Monte guy."

"Everyone knows Follow the Lady is a sucker game," the weasel shrugged. "The tourists do not mind droppin' a few credits so's they can tell the story back home, but youse needs at least two shills to do it right. Youse know how hard it is to get a good shill these days? An' shills costs money, but the average tourists do not drop enough to make it woithwhile."

"So you're pushing handbags."

"For a friend, while the heat is on the DVD game. Al is takin' a little break to be wit' his family while I watches his corner."

"You have friends?"

"Everyone in Zootopia knows Duke Weaselton. Everybody needs somethin' sometime. And who ya gonna call? I even heard Officer Hopps of the ZPD even came down one time to ask a favor. So, what will I not do for youse? It was some movie for Detective Wilde?"

"There is this old movie he wanted to see. And they did a restoration of it recently. I want to buy him a copy for... I want to buy him a copy. But I've looked on-line and the new version, the restoration, isn't available. I was wondering if you– I mean, sometimes you had copies of movies that weren't available."

"What was the name of this flick youse is lookin' for?"

"Midnight."

Duke looked thoughtful and shook his head. "Classic stuff. I might be able to lay my mitts on a copy."

"You could?" she asked eagerly. "Wait... Not a copy of the old thing. The restoration. It has to be the restored version."

"I'll have youse know I got a very disseminating clientele when it comes to movies."

"You mean a discriminating clientele."

"Nah, Duke Weaselton don't discriminate against nobody. I will take credits from any species."

Judy sighed, "I was hoping you might know how I could get a copy."

"I do."

"Really?" she asked too eagerly. "The real thing? The restored version?"

He shrugged as if the feat meant nothing. "Of course. Hunnert an' twenty creds."

"A hundred and twenty credits... I don't think I can afford that," Judy said, and started to turn away.

"Hold it, hold it," Duke told her. "Jeez, youse can take the rabbit out of Bunnyburrow, but youse can not take the Bunnyburrow out of the rabbit. It woiks like this. I gives ya a high figure. Youse comes back an' lowballs me wit a sixty cred offer. We jaws for a minute, and I tells ya how I will accept seventy-five. I might have taken seventy, but I am charging ya five creds for the ejucational experience."

Judy chewed her lower lip nervously as she considered the offer. The weasel added a little incentive, "An', seein' as the DVD is for Nick an' not for his partner, I'll knock another five creds off - if youse can give me a twenty cred down payment today. An', I throws in free gift wrappin'. I should assume that, in the event I might runs into Nick I shall not breathe a woid to him of the gift youse intends."

"It's the real, restored version?"

"On my woid of honor."

"Like I trust that," Judy muttered as she pulled out a twenty.

"Two days," Duke promised. "Exactly hows do ya want me to deliver it. I am not a fan of visiting the Foist. Think ya could slip away from the fox for a minute around three thoity? I'll be in that coffee shop around the corner from the station. Oh, cash– no checks or credit cards."

"Three-thirty on Thursday. Coffee shop. Perfect."

Judy left and Duke pulled out a cell phone and hit a number on his speed dial.

"Hermes Media Duplication Services," the receptionist answered. "How may I help you?"

"Yeah, this is Dewey Cheetum. I wouldst like to talk wit' me brother Sylvester, but do not wish to distoib him. Can ya ask him to call me when he has got a minute?"

"Certainly, Mister Cheetum."

The weasel managed the sale of two bogus bags before his phone rang. "Duke? This is Sly. Whassup? I'm sitting on a big box of DVDs with your name on them."

"Heat is on now for DVDs, but youse is going to get me a copy of Midnight tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Make it two. I found me anudder film puff."

"Film buff, Duke. Buff. Two? I don't know that–"

"It's another thoity-five clams, an' they ain't costin' you nothin'."

"Yes, but if the police are cracking down on bootlegs, and copies of Midnight turn up before Hooch Broadcasting releases them, it will be easy to trace them back to Hermes."

"But once Hooch releases it, no can prove they was oily. An' once they is released at twenty creds ain't nobody goin' be givin' ya thoity five clams apiece."

"Fine, two copies. My shift is over at four tomorrow. The usual spot?"

"Yeah. Hey, what is the woid on the new Doom Quest?"

"Company is putting on extra security. They'll have four guards on the production floor when we're doing the run for them."

"But that will not be stoppin' you."

"Of course not, but I fear it will make things a little more pricey for you. It'll be five credits a copy, and a minimum order of one hundred units."

"Five hunnert clams! That's robbery!"

"That's business, Duke. You'll clear an easy four grand. And if you're not interested I can always find someone else willing to sell the hottest game in Zootopia."

"I am not eggsactly sayin' I am not interested. I am saying I think the markup is high."

"How much markup you have on these copies of Midnight?"

"I'm making no creds on these. I'm sellin' 'em for forty-five apiece. You think I am a crook or somthin'?"


	3. It's a Gift

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the movie Zootopia are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Well... Continuation happens.

 **It's a Gift**

Judy was waiting at the curb, her overnight bag beside her, when Nick pulled up to her apartment. The fox popped the trunk, she tossed in the bag and jumped into the passenger seat. "You look terribly excited," he commented.

"You're not?"

"I am, but I didn't hang a sign around my neck, 'Hey, she's spending the night at my place!'."

"I don't have a sign around my neck."

"Not a literal one anyway. I really thought you'd tell Clawhauser."

"I would never... But Ben said I looked very happy today."

"See? And you'll tell everyone at football tomorrow."

"I won't mention it at football tomorrow."

"Not even to Hye?"

"Well, I did sort of mention on Tuesday that I'd be spending tonight at your place."

"Sort of mention? So, of course, everyone on your team will know."

"Hye wouldn't... Or maybe she would. You aren't as excited about tonight as I am?"

"Of course I'm excited... And maybe a little nervous. From what I've read fox parts and bunny parts should line up right."

"It will be like our first kiss, a little awkward the first time. But our second time tonight will be better. And tomorrow morning will be great. Know what I'm looking forward to?"

"Please don't say a second round tomorrow morning."

"No, waking up in bed with you."

"That's what you're looking forward to?"

"I mean that too, it's not my number one. But I'm going to like waking up with you beside me."

"And if it turns out one of us snores?"

"We'll cross that bridge if we come to it. Dancing first or dinner?"

"Dancing... I, uh, I have a split of champagne chilling at home. I was thinking, maybe instead of fancy dinner we grab a mushroom pizza to take back. Open the champagne, get comfortable, maybe have a little romantic comedy on the tube in the background while we eat. Too informal?" _"We can watch the copy of Midnight I bought for you."_

"Champagne and pizza?" giggled Judy, "sounds perfect. Well, getting comfortable with you sounds wonderful. They'd probably throw us out of the restaurant if we got too comfortable there. Background romantic comedy? Perfect." _"I'll give you the copy of Midnight I bought for you."_

After dancing, on the ride to Nick's place, the fox commented. "We need to keep up our lessons, and they'll be looking at us because we're the best dancers on the floor."

"As contrasted with just staring at us for being a rabbit and a fox? I think we looked good for just three lessons. Did it bother you that we got some stares?"

"If that's the price for being out with you I'll pay it gladly. But I still want them to stare because we're the best dancers there."

Nick balanced the pizza on one arm and opened his apartment door for Judy with the other. "I'll get out napkins and champagne glasses," he told her.

"And I'll get comfortable," she replied and took her bag to the bedroom.

Nick had the pizza on the coffee table in front of the television when Judy came out wearing a long t-shirt and holding one arm behind her back. The fox raised an eyebrow, "Wearing anything under that?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," giggled Judy. Then the rabbit pouted, "I'm a little disappointed you didn't follow me into the bedroom and jump me as I undressed."

"We're not teenagers worried about parents walking in on us. We have all night."

"Unless we get paged."

"We can't live in fear of the pager. And, yes, I am curious. What's behind your back?"

"Oh, you suggested a romantic comedy? I happen to have a gift for you."

Nick took his gift off the coffee table and exchanged presents with Judy. He tore open the wrapped package from her as Judy stared in disbelief at the object she held.

The rabbit found her voice, "This is Midnight!"

"Yeah, I–" Nick stared at the DVD he held, and started laughing. "Duke?"

"Yes," Judy confirmed with gritted teeth. "He– I–" the angry rabbit sputtered.

"It happens," Nick shrugged. "So he got another fifty."

"Fifty? He charged seventy-five!"

"You paid seventy-five?"

"Well, seventy. He took five off for my twenty credit down-payment."

"You advanced Duke a twenty?" Nick chuckled in disbelief. "You must have just fallen off the carrot truck."

"He, ah, gift wrapped it."

Nick sat down, and patted the couch beside him. "Let uncle Nick warn innocent country bunny about the big, bad city."

"Don't patronize me," she fumed. "I'm going to– There's something he's guilty of!"

"Judy, you've got a choice. You can put on your clothes, find Duke and arrest him on a charge of hurting your pride – and explain to the judge you bought a bootleg movie. Or you can sit on my lap, give me a kiss, and in a couple minutes we move into the bedroom. Which will it be? Oh, and I will be terribly disappointed if you chose arresting Duke over making love with me."

The rabbit jumped on his lap, straddling him, and threw her arms around his neck. "I never want to disappoint you," she assured him.

His arms went around her, feeling her warm body, and discovering... "Naughty bunny, you're not wearing anything under that shirt. What should I do with you?"

"Use your imagination," she suggested, and kissed him again.

Champagne and DVD cases remained unopened. Cold pizza became breakfast.


End file.
